Balance.

Sometimes, life throws some terrible, unexpected things at you.

How I long to be with my Mom, to comfort her and tell her that life will go on.

I wish I could look after her and take care of her like she did with me when I was little.

I would love to have a girl's night...Just me, Ali, and Mom (maybe Kevin's invited too....).

If I could tell my Mom two things right now:

1) It's not your fault. You did all you could. He knows you cared about him more than anything, and always will.

2) Take care of yourself. Matt, Ali and I don't want to lose you. We are here for you.

I cannot even imagine losing someone special to me so unexpectedly.

Prayers for my Mom.

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But then, sometimes life will throw some great things at you.

I woke up on Friday morning at 8am to my bedroom door creaking open. I'm blind without my glasses, so I figure it's Kevin. Actually, it was Jackson. This was decided after a minute of staring at him, realizing, 'this guy is bigger than Jackson...Wait, stripes! That's Jackson's sweatshirt'. He came to surprise me all the way from Utah.

The first thing that comes out of my sleepy mouth?

"Wait...Why are you here?"

What a lovely first thing to say.

He told me that he had a return flight Monday, but he might not take it.

After some serious contemplating, he didn't.

He's here indefinitely, staying with a friend and working from his apartment.

I'm not getting my hopes up, but I am pretty happy that I get to see him more than once or twice a month. It's a big sacrifice on his part, I know. But I am very thankful. I am excited to go on fun NYC dates that we missed out on since he was only here for 2 months of us dating before he was back out in Utah.

Therefore, life is all about balance.

Take the good with the bad.

Love, learn, live. In that order.

Quoting John Mayer,

I Know the Heart of Life is Good