All-American Road Trip. And obviously P.P.S rant.

The sleepless early mornings of a night nurse is unnerving. And lonely. A glimpse into my life: Yesterday I went to bed at 2pm, knowing I had the night off. I woke up at 11:15pm. I missed my roommates getting home, dinner, interaction with anyone that's human. Thankfully Jaxx (see post below) was awake. He watched me read in the living room until about 3:40am. He was waiting for his mom and stayed upstairs. (Update: 0350 am: he found me downstairs and is now on my lap sleeping).

So when I confided to one of my coworkers (he's from Kentucky) that I was possibly moving home, he told me I should road-trip it with my car all the way to New York. At first I thought he was crazy. He told me he had done it before, by himself, and it was amazing. He even saw the largest-ever living prairie dog (when I asked him if it was really living, he said it wasn't, it was a fake stuffed homage - Huge disappointment). I thought of me stopping by ant farms in Alabama and North Dakota (don't even know if I would go through there, but I saw that road trip in the show Doug once and it looked fun). And then I thought, "easy for you to say, you're a guy and are at such a lower risk of getting abducted/becoming missing than I am". I pictured myself at something similar to Bates Motel, 'Psycho' movie style and the nightmares began. Or what about being sold to sexual slavery at a truck stop (mom/dad, hope you're not reading this). I also pictured myself, the hot mess I am, crying the whole entire way to emo music on my iPod.

But I slept on it, and I think it's a potentially good idea. A road trip by myself. Hell, I went to a concert by myself once and it was such an amazing experience. Not saying that's even remotely similar but....

Oh, btw Shay one of my only readers, what do you think? I know you've done this trip-reversed by yourself, and we're kind of alike.... Let me in on your secrets and if this is a good idea or not for a girl in a train wreck state of life.

P.S. being a wreck leads me to also not want fast food, and less of an appetite. Considering I gained about 8 pounds since I've been here, all in the belly (and once someone asked me if I was pregnant when this has happened in the past) I think of this as a blessing. Although I know exercise is good for my heart, I have no motivation (You'd think working on a heart-centered floor would give me some). But going to a beach is really calling my name, and to be in a swim suit, a faux-pregnant tummy just doesn't work out. Sorry AliCat, but at least you'd have a real preg tummy.

This is a me-talking-to-myself post. Maybe it's enjoyable.

P.P.S -- A little rant. One reason I will never raise children in Utah: Abstinence-only sex education bill was passed here in Utah yesterday? One of the top three states in the nation for teenage pregnancy and they still don't get the importance of education. I'm not saying hand out condoms and birth control in the schools, but at least teach safe sex. In my school in New York state, I learned about sex in 7th and again in 11th grade as a refresher. They taught us the basics, what we can do to protect ourselves and prevent pregnancy, but at the end they always said "remember, abstinence is the only 100% form of birth control". We accepted that. And every single friend I had that was sexually active in high school used at least one form of birth control every time they had sex. Crazy, huh? Considering last time I talked to a Utahn about what they learned in sex ed in high school, they were shocked that my friends used any form of birth control at all since they weren't taught that in their school system. Get your acts together.

What is my life .

Sleepy Amy..And sleepy Jaxx, being sleepy.

So, Jaxx is my roommate Natalie's dog. No offense to any poodle out there, but when I think poodle, I think yuck. However, little Jaxx is a 2 year old golden toy poodle. And he is the sweetest, when he wants to be :) no but seriously I love him. he is making me rub his belly right now so I am typing one handed. I'm a pro- don't try this at home.

When he can tell I'm lonely, and when he is too he'll cuddle with me. A lot of the time he is sad because his mom went to work. I've never seen a dog miss their mom so much. It's kind of cute, but when he's like that, he won't be my cuddle buddy.

Jaxx is watching me write my blog. Can he read? Questionable.

Well..On to the next one. Since the inability to keep my mouth shut obviously runs in the family, and since my mom already posted it publicly on facebook and my sister said "idccccc" (i don't care) when she did it. Um . My baby sister is with child/carrying a fetus around. Ya know, this one?

She is still a baby sister to me!!! Babies don't have babies!! Just kidding..She is 21, and I could not be more excited for her. All I want to do is be her personal nurse. I don't even care if she has no symptoms. I wish I had an ultrasound machine (and knew how to use it more than just to capture a heartbeat), I would test her every day and do super nurse things. One rule: She is not allowed to steal my girl name, if it is a girl. She knows this. This is imperative.

Thing is, I may be able to be her personal nurse....Kinda.

Remember how my life is in shambles right now? Yeah, probably not...I really haven't been talking about it. And I won't now...But Horseheads is a possibility in my future. New York City ----> Utah --> Horseheads ----> what's next, Nebraska? Seriously, I should not jynx myself. However..Keep that in mind. Future posting material.

And on a short note that I won't dwell on,

Sometimes this New York City longing/homesickness goes through my veins when I'm working. Especially when Good Morning America is on at 6am and they're showing Rockefeller Center, and I remembered "hey I went to the dentists in that same building"....Or when I think about Seamless Web and those amazing little Mexicans showing up at my door on a bike at all hours of the night with whatever food I desire. Or how I ate like CRAP there and didn't gain a pound because I walked so much. Or how, like seriously how did I NOT spend a ton of money on clothes? I walked by f'amazing stores EVERY single day. My temptation threshold was so much higher. I took so many things/shopping opportunities for granted!! EEEk.

Yeah, short note, huh?

Curly Hair/Second family

This is me circa October 2011 (SO long ago, I know)...

Story behind this picture. I woke up at 6am to go to an interview in Salt Lake City at Primary Children's Hospital. I obviously got there way too early, and decided to take this picture and send it to my sister.

In college, a fellow curly-haired roommate of mine told me that studies have been done proving that interviewers take perspective employees less seriously if their hair is curly. So, to my first ever interview at Lenox Hill, I wore my hair straight. I also wore this lovely outfit: a magenta classy yet stylish cardigan, a cream blouse that is fitting yet sophisticated, and a grey pencil skirt. I got the job. I swore it was my lucky hair-do and outfit. I came to this job interview for basically my dream job. I was so nervous. And guess who didn't get the job.

So, on to my next job interview. I wore my hair crazy and curly, probably put in a low bun because I was lazy, but I still wore my lucky interview outfit. I got the job. I was more confident. I think maybe because I feel more myself with curly hair, but it could also be because this was not my ultimate dream job so I was more laid back. But it sure does feel good sometimes to straighten my hair. It makes me feel pretty.

I have a deviated septum. I want to get it fixed, but it's a quirk I don't mind.

And thanks Mom and Dad for giving me the awkward 1.5 year braces period of my life, because I like my teeth a lot. And thanks grandma for my curly hair and shortness. If I weren't this short, I wouldn't be Little Amy in the big world.

P.S. I love that the majority of people who liked this picture on facebook are my second family - The Patterson family. I love them all so much.

An homage to the Patterson's:

My second family....My Best friend ever, Nichole, Zach, Vicky, and Scott. And can't forget Kentucky Fried Rylee and Abers.

What the outside of the lake house usually looks like. Family, family and more family that have basically adopted me. And Vick smiling because the family surprised her for her birthday.

The lake, the reclining, the relaxing, the sun, the family. I love everything about this picture. I want to be in it again. I would like to be that tan again too.

That my friends, is happiness. I am so lucky to have all of you, Patterson family. Since I was 8 years old it has been nothing but wonderful memories with you all. I don't think I would be the person I am today without every single one of you. You've showed me how lovely family can be.

I love all of you!!! Miss you so much.

I'll be straightforward when I start by saying -- This is going to be one random post. I promise it'll be fun.

I'll start on a happy note.

A 100 year-old beautiful little lady/some would call a cougar gets married to an 87 year old that she fell in love with in her nursing home. And I love it. It made me cry just seeing her in that wedding gown, being wheeled down the aisle. And how she was talking about how in the old days, weddings were so simple -- bouquets picked from the backyard garden, it makes me want to live in the 1940's. Things were so much simpler back then. Well, love is real. Love is everywhere. And no matter how old you are, love is beautiful. The end.

Next on the agenda, iPods and headphones. Two things I miss about NYC. The majority of NYC pedestrians/public transit riders have headphones on- talking on the phone, or listening to music. As soon as I walk out of work, I just want to be in my zone. Yeah, my car is like a 3 minute walk away, but the urge to put headphones on usually gets the best of me. And I walk through the hospital with them on, and people look at me weird. Like I'm an outcast, or an angst teen or something. I don't really care what they think, but come on people, catch up on the trend. Headphones and music are in fact cool.

I miss my little sister, too. I want to take care of her and give her presents every day and be her personal nurse.

Oh, and I guess I miss that little baby I'm holding there too. I now stalk him via twitter -- True story, big sister problems forever.

I'm kind of like a mom, let's be honest. Well, Jackson and I have deemed me "caregiver Amy" , which can be good and bad (but I find it very fitting; that's my personality).

Why do we have to grow up...And why do I hate working the night shift, and why does my body hate me? So many unanswered questions. I have been one hot mess lately -- But I'm hanging in there. I'm trying. I'm trying hard.

THis is a few days old.

I will not devote a post to how much I dislike Valentine's Day. I will, however give shout outs to all those who were legit offended by my status. Like I said right in the status, again shut up. But one thing I noticed about this Valentine's Day: Why was everyone posting every single thing/flower/gift/jewelry/card that they received from their loved ones? I felt like it was a competition. One girl got a Kindle Fire. The other got a beloved movie. Who got the biggest bouquet of flowers?

Okay, I'm done being mean now.

I've been up for 32 hours and counting. I went to the doctors today because my heart rate was in the 140's and I freaked out. I'm okay, but I got my first EKG -- and um, my patients do not need to complain when I take those gel stickies off of their skin. It is painless. I thought I could sympathize, but I cannot. Here I am, negative nance again.

I have a new fashion icon/obsession.

Joy Williams - From the Civil Wars, probably my favorite duo of all time. Joy and I are basically BFF's since she answers all of my fashion questions via twitter. Seriously, most humble two-time grammy winner ever, that woman is. As I was telling Nichole, Joy is with child -- Which means maybe she'll lend me all of her dresses for the next 8 or so months. Can a girl dream?

Beauty.

I really can't wait to plan a trip home soon.

teenagehoodism.

Ugh, TEENhood was SO long ago.

Just kidding, it wasn't. But sometimes it feels like it....

Like on mornings (which are my nights) when I sit here listening to Straylight Run and think about nights (which were really nights) where I would write in my journal, weekends where I would throw parties with my friends, and go to high school and love/hate it. I cried a lot, I laughed a lot, but I just have mostly good, warm feelings thinking back on those times.

I'm glad I can look back on things via livejournal/blurty blogs I had back in the day which links will not be shared unless it is demanded of me.

Oh, the simplicity.

To my past self: You think life was complicated then? Oooh, girl....You're in for quite the ride.

I'm happy....But I'm nostalgic.

Existential moment. Hold on, wait up, I have the perfect song.

Lakes and Sleep.

I'm a night owl again. Not by choice.

I have been sleeping 24/7. I think my body hates me. I think Jackson isn't too fond either, considering every time I go to hang out with him, I sleep the day away. Why is this so hard on my body?

P.S. I feel like my coworkers are feeding me 24/7. They bring in goodies all the time. I can't complain.. But at the same time...ALL this food is taking its' toll! IT IS!

I woke up at 8:40 pm tonight, and am now planning this wedding. Which, I'm sure you will be sick of hearing once it's July.

This is going to be it:

How beautiful is this? Except picture green instead of fall colors.

Right on Seneca Lake. It will be beautiful.

What else about me.

I'm reading my first Stephen King book and I absolutely love it. 11/22/63 -- Pick it up if you love historical fiction, JFK, the 1950's-60's era...Oh how I would love to live in that era.

Other than that...Life is one big sleep fest.