We are all a little bit beautiful.

I can say that I think I am a bright and beautiful individual.
I'm happy with the body I'm in and who I have become.
This is not meant to be a vain post.
This is a reflection of my physical self over the years.
Bear with me.

I was talking to a friend today over lunch about my awkward years.

I was wearing glasses in 2nd grade. Huge ones, pink and purple rims. I looked like an owl. I was the biggest nerd there ever was.
My hair was greasy no matter how much I showered from 4th until 7th grade. I had bangs until 7th grade. Greasy bangs.

I was always made fun of for being skinny. It didn't exactly help that my mom made me wear these leggings that made my tiny legs look like tree branches. Actually, my legs looked more like the twigs that have fallen off the tree branches. I used to come home crying after gym days because the boys would make fun of me for being skinny (and I couldn't run fast, good). My mom had the same problem when she was little. She told me to tell them, "I'd rather be skinny than fat!". Thanks, mom. It didn't help.

I was undeniably awkward. As evidenced by this photo.
(that is a Principal's Award. *takes a bow*)

I had a unibrow (at least I'm honest about it now).
I worried about every single pimple on my face in middle school and high school.
I wore white eye shadow and sparkly make up/roll on gel 6th-8th grade.
I didn't know my hair was naturally curly until I was in 8th grade. I was too busy blow drying it until it was a giant poof on my head. I wish I had pictorial proof on this computer to show you all. I didn't know what a hair straightener was.

Artificial beauty aside, I remember how insecure I was. All of the "popular" girls in school were so pretty to me. I looked at them and just remember wanting to be them. I wanted to spend a day in their bodies. I wanted their butts even though I had boobs, something which they didn't (big butts were the thing, and I was 85 pounds going into 9th grade...I considered buying padded underwear, no joke). They got all the cute guys, and I couldn't even muster up a word to say to them because I was too shy.

I remember a night in 8th grade when I invited guys and girls over to my house, and after the guys left, they told all my friends how ugly and different I was from them and how I shouldn't be popular. Oh, I cried so much. I wasted so many tears. I remembered thinking to myself, "I'll show them, someday I'll be a famous singer and they'll be wishing they were all my boyfriends." I didn't become a famous singer. But I did gain some confidence along the way.

I'm not shy anymore, I'm outgoing. I'm comfortable with myself. I'm secure. I look in the mirror and think that I'm pretty most of the time (I have my days, too).

I was thinking about this today looking at one of the girls on facebook that I used to stare at in awe in middle school. Turns out she's not as cool as I thought she was. She is still in Horseheads, works at a restaurant and doesn't go to school. The popular girls ended up not so popular after all.

I was worried about nothing. If I could tell my 7th grade self something, I would tell her that she's beautiful. That the waiting will be worth it. That those girls and those guys that put you down, they will mean nothing in the end. That sometimes imperfections are what make us who we are. And that a little awkwardness makes for great memories, pictures, and a lot of laughs at a childhood I look back on fondly.



On a final note, please watch this video. Girls especially. This is so empowering. We all are unique. We all are beautiful. Don't change who you are.