BFFz

Five days until thanksgiving. Have I mentioned how anxious/excited I am for that day to come? Not just for the food...

I am SO thankful for true friends.

These past two years, I've grown up. A lot. My goal last year was to become less of a pushover. I think I'm still in the process of evolving into a self-sufficient, take-no-crap girl, but I have come such a long way since then. My standards have risen friend-wise, by a lot. I may be near-friendless, but at least I'm not the pushover friend anymore. This is an homage to my true friends. Ones that will be with me forever.

Nichole.

Remember when we were 17 and this picture was taken? Carly and Sam were visiting us, we were at my old house on Prospect Ridge on my old bed, in my old room that so many crazy memories with friends were made in. The night before, we had a hot tub party. We prank phone called people and made frozen margaritas. We drank them out of Senor Frogs' yard glasses, like many nights before that. Remember when we liked the same boys in middle school, which evolved into us liking 'best friends' so we could all hang out in highschool? But before that...Remember when we were Pokemon nerds, but boy crazy at the same time and made up ridiculous songs about them? I have so many amazing memories of us, starting from when I was an 8-year old girl wearing owl-like glasses and you were the new girl in school with the bowl cut. I have so many vivid memories of us. We've been friends for 15 years. Your mom always said we'd be friends forever. I think she was right. We don't talk to eachother everyday anymore, and we see eachother about 5 times a year or less, but how we grew up together and the memories we have will always keep us best friends in my heart.

Lauren.

I never thought I would meet someone so AWESOME at RS yoga night. We both knew nobody, and then we went to the Green Day concert the next morning. I'll always remember our Long Beach outings, Tourist Thursdays, and all the adventures we got ourselves into last summer. This past summer I was sad we didn't get to see eachother, and that's a big regret of mine. But, we both had our preoccupations-- Me studying for my boards, you and your first love. You will always be considered one of my best friends, and I can't wait for you to be in my wedding someday. You are such a great example, you are so smart and you are ALWAYS there for me. I hope you know that goes both ways. Rain or shine, middle of the night or middle of the day, we will always be there for eachother to laugh or cry with. It is a shame we have to live so far away from one another, but hopefully one day that will change. I absolutely love you!

Roni, Steph and Marissa.

I bunched all of you together because we all have so much fun together. It's never a dull moment with the four of us. I remember 2 years ago at Mike's house Steph, Roni and I reunited for the first time in years. We all wore Mike's Mom's bathing suits (oh jeeze) and jumped in the pond. It felt like no time had passed at all. Middle school/highschool with you guys was the absolute best. Parties at my house, canoeing and then sinking the boat in Steph's pond, and jumping off the dock in our underwear like losers...Those were the days.This past May-June, I loved every second with you girls. All of our outings turned into adventures, and the following mornings were hilarious. The Sand Dollar (the thug with dreadlocks....UGH what the heck), Denny's, waking up at Marissa's, my goodbye 'party'/bonfire and our recaps the following morning....I miss it all so much. I miss YOU all so much!!

Sam and Carly.

You guys are the best/craziest, most awesome girls I have ever met. We met in 2002 at ILC...8 years ago. I'm so glad we are still such good friends. Obviously ILC was one of the best times of our lives. You girls were a year younger than me, but taught me probably the most craziest things ever that any of us should have ever known at such a young age (hahah). Nichole and Jesse Gorney, taking deuces, our cabins, weirdo cabin-mates, New Found Glory... Simone, Autumn the stripper counselor...SUCH good times. And my times in Cheltenham? Priceless. I am friends with all of your friends, I'm the town's infamous guest, and the most troublesome. It's my own personal Cancun, my vacation getaway. I need to see you girls soon. COME visit me in NYC. I promise Kevin and I's apartment will be your new 'Cancun' getaway. I love you both...Ahhhh.

Shay.

(Shay is in the middle)

Shay, you're an honorable mention (but the most honorable of all)...Because our friendship was cut short due to me being lame/you moving to Utah. I sucked as a friend, because of school, because I was lazy, because of depressing events....But I swear if I ever move to Utah, I promise I will be a better friend. You are one of the like two faithful readers of my blog. The limited time we have spent together are memories I'll never forget. You were probably the only friend I'll ever remember from Pennsylvania. Both of us, stuck there, desperate for relief from the boredom. Making that soda, Wii parties at the house you were sitting, the photo shoot (one of the pictures seen above), Red Robin, and our fateful meeting at Institute (which I'm sure we both were dreading that night)...We had a few good times. I really cherished our time we spent together! You are absolutely a great girl of so much worth. I'm glad you are doing well...I hope it only gets better and better for you; You deserve it.

Kevin.

K-Dubs...I have loved you ever since the Kanye Concert in 2008, the faithful beginning of our friendship. I don't think we ever could picture then that we would be Living2Gethr.edu. As of now, we have 167 fans that follow our lives on East 38th Street in NYC, the city that never sleeps (or for us, that sleeps too much). What amazing lives we live. You are in our apartment right now playing Ke$ha, even though you know I hate her. You deal with my hormones, and I deal with your manic states once a month. You're the best. Thanks for letting your bed become our couch because we are ghetto and don't have one. BOOLAH boolah boolah! That's all I have to say. We'll discuss the extent of our friendship later. Bai.


You are all wonderful. I love you all so much.

Note: this is not including my family/significant others, etc., etc. But you are all special...And I am sure there will be plenty of blogs about you in the future.

Three days.

Three days off....What to do with myself? Obviously update my blog with random happenings.

Got my first paycheck yesterday.
Up Side: MONEY!!
Down Side: Taxes. More than half of my paycheck went to taxes. Thank you Obama and the government in general (in January, I'll thank you again since they're going up. Also, I know that it's not only Obama that makes the decisions....So does congress). Thank you New York City.

The apartment that Kevin and I live in is in shambles. Lead paint is peeling off of our walls. Good thing I don't have kids, or they would end up eating them and have neurological defects. Lead is in our tap water. NYCers, beware. This affects over 100,000 buildings in New York due to old plumbing (to prevent this, just let your tap water run for 30 seconds before drinking). The most sad though, is that I haven't had a real shower in over 3 days. Our drain doesn't work in the shower. I've used Draino, tried a plunger...Still, the tub is over half full with dirty, disgusting previous-shower water. Don't worry though, I took a Mexican shower yesterday--For those who don't know this drill, it involves washing my hair and necessary body parts via the sink water and some soap. Our apartment Superintendent, Duro, has yet to stop by. Kevin got locked out yesterday without a coat and Duro couldn't help because he doesn't have spare keys, the management does. Management is closed for the weekend. So what would happen if Kevin didn't have a roommate to save him? Thanks overpriced apartment management company that gives us nothing but problems. I'm sure many have this problem in NYC. If I were registered to vote in time for the November 2nd elections, I would have voted for "The Rent is 2 Damn High!" party.

Yesterday was by far my busiest day at work in the past 3 weeks. Talking to the other girl starting at the same time as me (Jessica, you are awesome), I knew I wasn't the only one that felt this way. I'm pretty sure both of us were near tears multiple times throughout the day, wondering how we will make it on our own without our preceptors. I am praying that the night shift will be less chaotic and that we will be blessed with helpful (and nice, not obnoxious) nurse aides and fellow RNs.

Today, I'm really thankful for having a job and getting my first paycheck. It felt like it was my first Christmas finally opening it. Even though I have complained above about how ridiculous this apartment management is, I am thankful for even having an apartment to live in.

P.S.....Obviously I got asked to move in with one of my patients. He was in his 80's, German, told me I was cute and lived near Columbia University. He promised free rent and meals if I took care of him every night. He told me, "No sex....Just love. Will you be my love?". Should I accept?

Do You Realize -- The Flaming Lips

Transition.

It's been 2 long weeks. But alas, I have decided to update on a much needed day off.
I'm 3 weeks deep into my job as a Registered Nurse.
I still get excited every time I write 'RN, BSN' after my name. It's amazing how much more patients trust you with the RN tag as opposed to the word "student" printed across it.
So far, my preceptor is great and very patient with me which I am very grateful for. I will be working with her for the next 5 weeks on the day shift. Some of the staff on the floor are just plain mean, but that's what working in a New York City hospital can be like.
I love my patients. Even though most of them are sick old people with very little independence left, I learn so much from each and every one of them. I get called 'cute' by at least one of my patients everyday. One dubbed me the 'Penn State girl'. I have gotten one marriage proposal from a 48 year old man (creepy).
(My workplace)

I do want to share a short story though. Last week, I took care of an old man who was very, very sick. He was basically lying on his death bed. He didn't respond to much except for pain, in which he would moan but that's about it. No one really tried to talk to him. One of the nurse assistants undressed him, left him completely exposed (which I'm not okay with) and left me to do the rest later that night. I got to spend a minute alone with him. I dressed him and tucked him into his sheets. I was telling him what I was doing step by step, and then I did something that I hadn't seen anyone else do that day. I decided to ask him something. I took his hand, looked him in the eye and said "Okay, would you like a blanket on you? Squeeze my hand if you do. If you don't, you don't have to do anything. Can you do that for me?" . I asked him twice, and then I heard him mumble. I was pretty startled, and I asked him to repeat what he had said. Hoarsely, he responded "I would like that." I wasn't even expecting him to squeeze my hand, let alone speak. It was a beautiful moment. Moments like this are why I decided to become a nurse. Now it's real. Maybe being on this floor is a blessing in disguise, even though it may be a little chaotic and not my first choice of a job.

These past few weeks have been quite a transition for me. I got my schedule for the next 2 months. It makes me cringe to think I will be scheduling my life around work. Unlike most of my fellow graduates who are not nurses, I will be working nights, weekends, and holidays. I'll sacrifice spending time with my family and exchanging it with taking care of sick people in the hospital. I know the first holiday I will spend in the hospital, it will upset me. But at least I know I will be making a difference in a stranger's life. Still, I would expect a future rant about this.


In other news, Jackson came to visit from October 29th to the 3rd. It was so nice spending time with him and I'm so thankful that he came a few days after I started work, even though I had to work the last 2 days he was here (including on his birthday...Boo). For his birthday, I took him to the Bronx Zoo. Cheesy sounding, I know....But it was so much fun! Here are two of the scant amount of pictures I took.

Amazing (but greasy) Mac and Cheese place, S'Mac on the Lower East Side. It was delicious. Nomnomnom.

Gorillas are so fascinating!! Jeeze louise...they are just like humans. This is exactly how I sleep, not kidding. Ha.


And, I'm going to Utah for Thanksgiving! Hooray!!

I'll try to be better at updating, but life is busy, FINALLY!

Since it's November, the time of thanksgiving and everyone is stating what they are thankful for, I am thankful for being alive. I'm thankful that I had great parents that supported me through college and allowed me to get the job that I now have. I'm grateful for my boyfriend and dear friends, even though they are few and far between.

I'm thankful that I have so much to smile about.

This is It.

A New Chapter in My Life: Today is my last day of jobless freedom.
My big girl job starts tomorrow. I am a full time employee, working night shifts. Holy toledo!! It's about time. That was far too long of a hiatus, but I'll admit that I'm a little scared and very nervous. But, I can't wait to get back to taking care of people and hopefully making a difference. Honestly, nothing is better than getting a hug from a patient when they leave the hospital. I love that.

2010 has been crazy. It started out really depressing. I had the worst senioritis a college student could have. My birthday was my motivation for change, and I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel: graduation. I graduated college, one of the best days of my life (see below), and moved to NYC in a whirlwind. Summer went by way too fast and I got to play with cute babies in their first days of life, I passed my boards and am now an RN, I spent time with my best friend, met a cute guy and had lots of fun, moved in with my other best friend, and here I am. I'm completely happy. I hope it only gets better from here.

That is all! Just a short update.

To be Alive.

I say this to people a lot. I write this plenty in my personal journal, which I plan to give to my grandchildren someday: I am in my physical prime. I have no wrinkles. I am probably in the best shape I will ever be. I can eat fast food, and for the most part, not gain weight.

Like most, I have this fear of getting old. I think the first time I start to see wrinkles appear on my face, I'll freak out. But someday, I'll be a Mom. Far, far from now I'll be a Grandmom. I'll look in the mirror, look at pictures of myself from now, and barely recognize the girl that I used t to be. But, it's so beautiful. We are ever evolving human beings.



I think it's hard to appreciate the beauty of aging. I remember seeing a woman in a nursing home. Looking at her, and then glancing at a framed picture of the girl that she was when she was my age. But the confidence this woman had sitting in the nursing home in her wheelchair, the love for her purple headbands and brushing her hair showed me that she still knew she had that beauty.



I saw an elderly woman on the subway the other day. First of all, I'll rant about how a lazy overweight young woman did not give up her seat for this old woman the entire 15-20 minutes we were on the train. But, I could not help but stare at this lady. She was probably in her 80's, and she was stunning. Under her wrinkles and imperfections, you could tell she used to be the most gorgeous woman. She was smiling the entire time. I saw a woman next to her; Presumably her daughter. Ah, it touched my heart.

Anyway, I hope I'm a cute old lady. After pondering this for a while and seeing all these wonderful older women, I think there is hope.

Family Portrait.

This was one of the happiest days of my life.
My graduation day: May 15, 2010.

I never really blogged about how grateful I was for my whole family to be able to come. Not just my mom, or just my dad, because of bitterness. They set it aside their differences, even if it was just for a little bit, and my family was reunited for a day. To this day, thinking about that wonderful, perfect day brings tears to my eyes.

No, this isn't wishful thinking. I know my family will never be the way it was. In fact, I never want to have to go through that pain again. I am just so thankful that after 7 years of a war that felt like it would never end, they are civil towards each other. I think it is one of the greatest things I could ever ask for.

These pictures I will forever cherish. I never imagined I would have a picture of my whole family together when I was 22. A family portrait of a family that was. We will always will be family, even if our Mom and Dad are separate.
My mom is so loved by my dad's side of the family. Unlike me, they wish and pray that my parents would get back together. Whenever they come visit my hometown, they visit my mom. It's wonderful.

Last night, my Mom's sister, whom my dad hadn't seen in over 15 years came into his house uninvited just to give him a hug and say hello. Despite him hurting her sister (my mom), he gave her three children and her last name, and my Mom's sister understands that he was family and always will be to us kids. I talked to my dad about it, thinking he would feel he was intruded upon. Instead, he said, "It was so nice to see her. I was really happy she came in...It was a surprise, but a good one."

This gives me hope. I used to dread the day I'd plan who I'd have to invite to my wedding, and the drama that would be attached to it. How a family war might break out. But now, I know. I think it will be wonderful, just like this day was. I'm so glad I can share these moments with both of my parents.

Thanks, Mom and Dad. You raised a beautiful family.

Coming together.

Well, it's better than coming undone, right?

I realize I haven't written an update on my life here in a while. I guess I was waiting for some conclusion to the endless chaos that had been taking place the last few weeks. After endless tears on the phone with people I didn't know, finally on Tuesday I get through to an adviser who issues me my license in a matter of one minute. Thank you, Jamie. You are the man. I start my job on October 25th, it is official.

But, what was the initial feeling I had once I know I have my license? Anxiety and fear. It's real. I'm taking this job, on a medicine floor which is not my first choice. What if I'm completely unhappy? I'm so nervous. But after a few phone calls to people that I love very much, I was reassured that everything is going to be okay. If it doesn't work out, well, I'll climb that mountain when/if I get there. Until then, I'm lucky I even have a job right now considering the economy.

The good news is, I passed my medication competency exam. Afterward, the nurse recruiter hands me a contract to sign saying I received the study guide. I hand it back to her unsigned.
Nurse Recruiter: Um, you have to sign this.
Me: I never received a study guide.
Nurse Recruiter: Are you serious?! We should have given you one when you accepted the job.
Me: Nope.
Nurse Recruiter: Well, good thing you passed!
Basically, I just winged the medication competency exam. Had no idea what was on it. Pretty much, I lucked out. CHYEAaaa.

Thanks, Jackson for coming October 28th. Can't wait to celebrate your birthday with you. Even though both of us will be pretty busy with work. But seriously, it was a nice surprise to get a phone call from someone so special telling me that he had just bought tickets to come to NYC for about 6 days. It will be lovely.