Life Can Be Pretty Sometimes...

So I had this night a few days back....

Where I cried a lot for no reason. I listened to jams from high school and reverted back to my teenaged emo-self, just for those couple of hours.

That was really stupid.

The listening to high school jams = not stupid. But everything else? Amy, what were you thinking...
I can cry. I'm allowed to cry, and boy do I cry with the best of them. But being emo? NOT allowed.
Thoughts running through my head ..."This sucks..I wish I could go back to being little again, why am I a grown up? I have no idea what I'm doing right now...."

I was told by a very smart person that a big sign of depression is wishing you could go back to the old days. I am living proof of that big sign. Whenever I get depressed, I stop living in the moment and start re-living in the past...Hence my blog a few nights back about my old blog from when I was 15 (which may or may not have been the night I'm referring to).

The past is nothing but a memory.
Like my last post's quote from "Cutting for Stone" (which yes Melanie, that book is absolutely amazing...I love everything about it!).........A memory is something important, proof that you're alive. I think that the ability to have memories is a privilege. That being said, it should be used with caution....It shouldn't be a crutch. Beautiful ones you can look back on fondly (but not dwell upon)...And Ugly ones you can learn from (but NOT dwell upon, either).
The dwelling upon?
I have trouble with that.

I am proud that I can admit my flaws, though.


Things got brighter when I saw the sun for once this morning....
I'm serious though. I'm aware that the sun has reared its' head in Manhattan the past 2 days, but I wasn't awake to enjoy it. I was sleeping, like the nocturnal being that I must be in order to make a living.
This morning, it was too bad that it plummeted a good 20+ degrees, but for me it was happiness. I was so happy to see that sun. Be it the Vitamin D, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or "Night Nurse Disorder" (my own coined term)...I needed that sun. I stopped on the street in my scrubs at 8:45am and took pictures. These were all taken on my 4 block walk from Grand Central Station to my apartment.
The Concrete Jungle is more bearable when there is light shining down on it.

Stopped here at the Chrysler Building and thought...Do I really live this close to the Chrysler Building? Do people even know what the Chrysler Building is?



Obviously everyone knows what this is..The Empire State Building peeking through..With the sun shining down on it. The only building not shadowed in this picture. And it's right next to my favorite public roof-top park. I live to read on the roof of 622 3rd Ave and people-watch sometimes. It's silly that it looks so small in this picture. That being said, it's ALL perspective!!!



In other news...
It's nice to know that someone really cares about me.

I know flowers aren't a tell-tale sign of being cared for..But I know that driving for one hour + a 4.5 hour red eye + a 45 minute taxi cab ride with a bouquet of flowers in your hand means a lot, right? (and it matches my blog theme oh, so well)