Proof.

I figured I would add some pictures to prove that I'm here.....What I ramble about exists. City living. Friend without the "s".

Proof that I get out on rare occasions. Last week (or was it 2 weeks ago?) I went to a Yankees game for a ward activity. I've been lucky enough to have gone to a few since 2009 in the same stadium.

Proof that I have a friend. See, Lauren. The blonde girl. Love.

Proof that I'm not the only Gaga fan in the City. Disregard the mustache.

Proof that the sun exists. In my happy place, happily reading in the Central Park Plaza rooftop that I've talked so highly about. The sun, the empire state building so close....

Be back later.

Something about this place...

Life has been a roller coaster lately.

Work has been filled with crazy experiences that I would NEVER have gotten anywhere else but

a) on a Med/Surg floor

and

b) in New York City.

I cannot help but laugh maniacally at the end of a 3 day weekend...Filled with stuff which I cannot say. But I laugh. If you don't laugh, you won't make it. I see everything. I see life, death, recovery, the bad, the good...I meet family members that I form a bond with, and patients that I will never forget. They will forever have my love. They have touched my heart in ways that I cannot explain.

Back in the day...I swore that I would NEVER work on a med/surg floor. Now, I truly KNOW that it has helped me learn so much about nursing and life in general.

I've seen and listened to the first breath of a child coming into the world.

I have held the hand of someone on the brink of death.

Amazing.

Enough with this nursing rant.

My curly hair is frizzing to the max.

This means the heat is coming.

80 degrees....My body was in shock coming home from work tonight.

This means summer is coming....Please let this lead to a beach.

I need escape. Vacation. Beauty that involves nature and not sky scrapers.

New Lady Gaga CD came out.

Want to know how lazy I am?

I'm in love with her....She was 20 blocks from my apartment last night in Union Square. Did I go to the CD signing?

No....I didn't want to deal with those overrated crowds.

//hipster.

I've been emo lately. "Something's Missing" by John Mayer playing and replaying in my head constantly.

But I'd like to thank my blog, for letting me remember that even though I feel like there is so much bad, I have so much happiness I should be cherishing.

Day by Day...Year by Year.

Big milestones in my life are coming up.

Getting this out of the way (but so happy)... I saw my dad on Saturday night. He came to the city just to have dinner with me after I got out of work at 8:30pm. (he was in Yonkers to visit my grandma). It was so nice. I like it when home comes to me sometimes, and he is one of my favorite parts of home, because he is my dad. We went to an Italian place a half of a block from my apartment. I wanted to take Jackson there this weekend (he is coming this weekend...I can't contain my excitement)...But I'm glad I tried it out before he came, because he would not be able to fit inside of the restaurant...Literally. The ceiling had to have been 6'0 at most...Which makes it the cutest most adorable little place ever. But, it just wouldn't work for 6'4 Jackson. Oops.

On to the milestones....

In 5 days it will mark the one year anniversary of me graduating from Penn State. One year since I became a grown up. One year since one of the best, most happiest days of my life. I honestly cannot believe it. I am so proud that I went to a great school (I can't thank my dad enough) and that I graduated in under 4 years. I have accomplished a lot. I am humbly proud of that.

Second, oh my. I have almost been living in New York for one entire year. If you count the 3 months I spent living here and doing my internship in summer of 2009, that's more than a year. Wow. I am so lucky to be here. To be living here, working here...I remember when I was a new freshman in college and I decided I wanted to do nursing. My dad told me to visit my cousin Jennifer and follow her for a day, he told me she's a nurse in the heart of New York City. I pictured this place...So foreign, so freaking cool. I remember the kind of feeling that I felt when I walked out of the subway and went to interview for my externship....A New York City hospital?! How cool is this?! And then in 2010, it became routine. But I am still so happy that I have had this experience. Some days, I wish I still had that "foreign feeling". But in my heart, I am truly grateful.....And humbled that I have had this great experience. Not much can compare to this. And....Lauren is living here now. What a lovely bonus. I finally have a girl friend!! AND my best friend at that.

Lauren and I .....Thanks RS yoga. And um, thanks Lauren for hooking me up with some random guy you met in a taxi from JFK :)

Years fly by so fast....I'm so glad I have a good memory. I can savor the moments of high school (which sometimes I long for), and (hopefully) remember those of today.

I really remember that day with perfect clarity. (And SAM, and CARLY). Highschool..Yeah.

One lucky girl I am.

Diversification. Urban Living.

Lauren is back in New York City, for good this time.

For some reason, Lauren makes New York City magical for me. I don't know how, but it only happens whenever she is here.

Lauren is my best friend. She makes me into one of the best live-in tourists around.

To start off our reunion, we went to the Target in Spanish Harlem. Oh my.....It was quite the experience getting there. It was a half of a mile walk from the subway to the store. It was such a cool culture shock. Everything was in Spanish, there was a walk-up McDonald's order window, there was a "live poultry" store that smelled like a zoo (aka you go there, they kill the chicken, you get to pridefully bring it home for dinner), we stuck out like sore thumbs. But it was such a great experience and area. I would love to go spend more time there. I stood and looked around me in Spanish Harlem, and I was aware of all of the kids around me. Being raised there to me seems unfathomable, but so many are and I am intrigued...It is really something I would love to learn about.

That's the most amazing this about this city is the diversity. You don't see it until you step outside of your neighborhood or borough boundaries...And then you see the beauty of it. I feel so lucky.

I started taking the bus again today. It seems that I coincide either with taking the bus either during summer or with Lauren. I like to think Lauren, because she makes me travel a lot, considering she lives across town. So I took the bus uptown to dinner and enjoyed every minute of it. Something is soothing about it. Maybe it's the cellphone service that isn't attained being underground, maybe it's just overall a bit more peaceful and slow paced than the subway. Either way, I like it. We went to dinner at Delizia Ristorante on 74th and 1st Ave. It was pretty good. We are food adventurists.

Gross story of the day.......

Remember when you went to college (or grew up and moved away from home)? Mom and Dad gave me a big plastic container for my dorm to put food in. I stored it under my bed.

Fast forward to when I live(d) in New York City. I haven't told anyone this because I have been absolutely terrified, but I have been waking up to strange noises in the morning from under my bed. Scratching sounds. I know they are mice. But WHAT do they want from me?! I don't keep food in my room!

Fast forward to today...Me cleaning under my bed (finally a day off). I find a single box of Ramen Noodles. It was sealed, vaccutained, boxed, never touched. I must have put it in my room to take to work, forgotten it, and then it got mistakenly pushed under the bed to never be remembered. Well, it was remembered today. It certainly made its' mark. As I retrieved it, it looked basically unopened. Then, I found a hole. To my absolute horror, a mouse had found a way to take out and eat every single part (including the spices...eeek) of the cup of ramen noodles. Not a remnant of ramen, noodles, or powder left. Just styrofoam and plastic.

Moral of the story: I will always remember the plastic container to put food in whenever I need to store food under my bed...hopefully that is never.

Happy...Easter?

Happy Easter.

I'll tell you a little bit about my Easter celebration.

It started out in a hospital from 8am-8:30pm. I'm officially on the day shift. I see daylight. I sat outside and basked in the overcast sunlight. It was lovely and my patients were angels. Tomorrow I'll probably be preaching a different story.

The night ended with me wanting to treat myself with a nice Easter dinner...But then I realized that no places were open since it is Easter Sunday.

I cave and go to a deli, where I tell the man to surprise me. He gives me a tuna sandwich on a kaiser roll with roasted peppers (which actually complements tuna wonderfully). What a great surprise. Thanks, deli guy.

I then continue on my stroll home in the pouring rain with no umbrella, and decide I'm too hungry to wait and that I don't want to eat in my bed like I usually do. So I walk and eat my tuna fish sandwich. I thought about how very few people can say that they celebrated their Easter by walking in the pouring rain eating a deli sandwich by themselves. I laughed at myself.

Laughing is a good remedy to loneliness sometimes.

I know I talk about my Kindle like every blog post, but it's a good topic starter/something to find in common with people you feel awkward around. Who knew that my coworker was a closet-reader who read the same stuff I do? Love awkward moments waiting for the subway.

Do mice like chocolate? This is a question I've wanted to look up on Yahoo! Answers but have been too embarrassed to. Especially since my Easter basket is sitting in the living room.

I just took a shower...And didn't wash my hair. I still put it up in a towel, and just realized that that was not necessary at all.

These are random-isms of an extremely tired nurse.

exhausted amy-isms.

One more night shift to work until I become a human again.

One day in between to recover.

I will be in zombie mode on Sunday. That's Easter, by the way.

Yesterday, I was in Grand Central Station at Rite Aid. A homeless man on a motor scooter was cruising near the pharmacy, while I was impatiently waiting for my prescription to be ready. The motor scooter guy was singing and singing. Then I notice he starts pouring boxes and boxes of Tylenol PM and Advil PM into his coat and Duane Reade bags. A-What.....What would you do as a bystander? Well....I had no idea. And I was deliriously tired from working. I stood there, pretended I didn't see (felt so guilty for that), and looked for employees. Thankfully, another one saw. The cops were there in 0.3 seconds, and were rolling the Tylenol thief away. Is there an underground Tylenol PM drug ring that I don't know about? Anyway...That was an awkward New York moment. Let's be honest...Only in New York.

After the Shins started playing on my iPod this morning, I realized that I really want to watch the movie Garden State again. That's one of my favorite movies. I love Natalie Portman and Zach Braff. It's such a beautiful movie.

I'm becoming immune to caffeine. This is a problem. I am also becoming addicted. I need it. Dr. Pepper, Starbucks (too expensive), Dunkin' Donuts, Snapple. Give it all to me.

I miss this one guy. I'm pretty dang happy with him. Love can be really lovely sometimes....It's been 9 months. Whoa. :)

A photo of a photo of a photo...Someday I will upload the original (when I get a new computer)...But. This is it. Take it or leave it.

Daughters.

Sometimes, I cry. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Don't cry, Amy" when I've been working from my coworkers. How embarrassing. Does anyone else have this problem? Doubt it.

Sometimes I care too much. And maybe that's why I have a tendency to tear up a lot. I can't go into details but...Sometimes I look at these people, think "hey that could be my family member....". Instantly I love them. If anyone treats them in a way that isn't less than exceptional care, I get really upset. Anger = emotion. Emotion = tears.

So....It's 9am on a Saturday. No one is awake. I'm walking home from the subway, on the verge of tears every step I take. I can't think of anyone else to call, so I call my dad and instantly, the tears are coming...Again. I'm sobbing on the corner of 38th and 3rd, complaining about the entire night (I didn't even make it to my apartment, a half of a block away, hate my life). I know it must have been a weird conversation for him to wake up to...But I just needed someone to listen.

He was there. Here I am, a grown up girl, needing a shoulder to cry on....I'm glad it was my Dad's.

I'm crying again as I write this....

I am now 23 years old. I still can't believe that sometimes. It's hard to believe I have a full time job....And that I live on my own. I knew it would happen someday, but not this fast. Sometimes it's really hard not to be able to see my family whenever I want. I hate distance. Sometimes I hate being an adult.

Maybe this whole blog entry is childish...But I had to.

I think I'll always be a daddy's girl.

So Dad, I know that I'm a grown up now, but I will always be your little girl. I'm glad I still have you to talk to when I'm miles and miles away when no one is there (or awake yet, ha). You're a really good listener. P.S. I'm glad I look just like you.

----------------

On a related note (kind of), I watched a 10 minute clip about a teenaged girl with autism who found her voice through typing on a computer. Much to the surprise of her family, she was a gifted individual with a talent for writing. She could express her feelings in a way that she never could before. Her parents finally saw how grateful she was for their help. I cried like a little girl when she typed this on her computer during her documentary. It didn't help that I had just gotten off the phone with my dad.

These were her words, not mine...But I had to share.

"Dear Dad,

I love when you read to me. And I love that you believe in me. I know I am not the easiest kid in the world. However you are always there for me, holding my hand and picking me up. I love you."

It's that time for another John Mayer reference.