Boyfriend.

So I have a boyfriend now.
Weird/crazy/I like it.

He's cute.

The end.


City Love- John Mayer.

oh, Mathilda Savitch.

I loved this book by Victor Lodato (his first). So poetic and beautiful.

Mathilda is such a cute character, in her earliest of teens. So innocent, so clever. So many feelings. So much to think about. I don't think I'll ever forget Mathilda. She's captured my heart.

Just a quick synopsis (without giving away any spoilers): Mathilda's older sister died a year ago in a freak accident, leaving Mathilda the only child left in a family grief-stricken. All Mathilda wants is to find a way to "shock" her parents back to life. She wants attention. But most of all, she needs to find answers to help heal her own heart.

Naturally, I have bookmarked some of my favorite quotes from the novel. Read. Enjoy. Then read the book.

"...the weather made me feel like I was in my own private world... The sun was so far away it was practically sending a letter."

"Who knows what's under a house. The house you live in is only a recent development in the history of the world. Before it was a house it could have been a jungle or a desert. A million years ago it might have been the middle of the ocean. You don't know. You only know the here and now. The rest you have to imagine."

"How do things happen? How does your life happen? Most of the time it goes too slow, and sometimes it even goes backwards. But then one day you get shot into the future and then there you are, stuck in the middle of it. It should be like water, the future, but it's actually like mud. You sort of just sink into it."

"...Except Louis is blind from love. When you're in love, you're not too surprised when you lose everything. You're always sort of expecting it."

"A person's heart is a disgusting thing. You almost can't look at it."

"...[He] told me I shouldn't think about things like this. I shouldn't think about the very end or the death of my mother and father eor not having enough air to breathe. Dark thoughts, he called them. But he wouldn't know a dark thought if it bit him on the butt....It's a different time now...I've seen a lot of things. All of us have...We're different. We're not you.But watch me, okay? That's all I'm asking. Please watch me.
Because nobody knows what's coming.....The future is the biggest secret of all, and really, what's the rush?..."

Real World.

No, not the TV show. Although I auditioned for that, met with the casting directors and never got a call back.

This is real life.

I am a grown up. I am a Registered Nurse. I've graduated, passed the dreaded boards (I was blessed with all 265 questions...Sarcasm). I have a license, so that means if I were to kill someone, I'd be legally liable. Craziness.

I've decided I love Labor and Delivery. It's funny. One time at a random church dance, a man came up to me and asked what my profession was going to be. I said I was in nursing, and this man goes "I just know it, you'll be an L & D nurse. Mark my words." I told him no way. I had no interest. Now, I almost cry everytime I see a woman deliver a child. I have even considered doing it naturally, even though I had sworn I will only do a c-section. Planned. But it's so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

Anyway, more updates later. Life is good.

reflect.

Sitting in my far too big room in my far too big apartment,
Next to my air conditioner. Freezing.
Watching through my window a person/persons watching Family Guy on their big screen.
Since I can't hear from this far away, John Mayer's "Room for Squares" is playing on my iTunes (talk about a throwback).

I'm trying to relax. Trying is the key word.

I've been asking for prayers from everyone. No matter what God they pray to (the more Gods, the more ground I cover), or if they're atheist or non-spiritual. I hope I have God on my side tomorrow.

It's been a little while...

It's been a month to be exact....Well, not exactly, but almost a month.

I've been happy.

I went to the lake with my second family. I've been with my best friends (thanks Marissa, Roni and Steph, love you), and I've made memories with them that I never will forget.
Kevin moved to the big City before me, and I missed him.

I went to California to enjoy some sun, but it was overcast. I still spent most of it at the beach. And just relaxing, and catching up with old friends...That aren't so old, but I just love them.
A day passed...A good day with a special someone. Then I was off again to the Bahamas, Paradise Island, the Atlantis. Although drinking the water wasn't the best of ideas and I was sick for most of the trip, I soaked in those rays and the beauty of the tropics. And family...Ali, even though we sometimes don't get along, you're always my wing (wo)man. I wish we could have found Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian. Oh well.

Well...Three days passed. Three beautiful days of friends. A going away party that turned into a bon fire in my backyard and hilarious stories to tell in the morning...In my bed. Pillow talk with Roni and Marissa is the best the morning after. We laugh. It's the best way to start my day.
I put off packing...But Saturday, I was off. Off to the world of grownup-hood. I think I realized it when my friends said "moving away party". This move is indefinite. I could be here for a long, long time. But so far, I'm happy. Happy to be reunited with friends (even though it's only been 2 weeks, Kevin withdrawals had set in) and a friend that's been in Utah for the majority of the year.

Right now, I'm going to bed early because I start my orientation tomorrow for work/my internship (cross your fingers I pass my boards so I can get a permanent job). I feel like a kid going to my first day of school. Except, it's a grown up job....And I've been to this orientation before. But still. I have my clothes laid out and book bag packed.

Graduation was the end of a wonderful life thus far. The new chapter of my life starts now.

Hello again, New York.

Dear Long Hair,

I'm sorry I cut you off on my birthday.
I thought it was a good idea at the time,
Your ends were dying and I had no other choice.
I thought it would bring a sense of celebration to my otherwise mundane, annual day of birth.
However, I miss you.
Sorry that the stupid hair lady cut you a little too short.
See you in a couple of months I hope. Come back soon, please.

Sincerely,
Me

euphoric.

Today, I walked out from my last final of my undergraduate career.
As I walked, I waved my arms in the air clumsily, clicked my heels, almost started crying, and had a 5-year old-esque smile on my face that has yet to go away.
It reminded me of when I was walking out of elementary school, ten years ago. I could not stop smiling. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. That's exactly how it felt. I felt like a giddy little kid.

So, here's to 4 long years (but it went by so fast) of

millions of memories. tears. laughter. parties. studying in the Hub with Emily. Chik-Fil-A. Hershey Med. 306.Intervention. regrets and mistakes. accomplishments. exams. ATI nonsense. Thon. dorm life. skipping class a lot. Taco Bell. sheetz (never thought i'd love a gas stations os much). countless clinicals at 6am and lack of sleep. countless naps to make up for the lack of sleep. old people, babies, moms, sick people, IVs, med calc, dreading taking a blood pressure, nightmares about med-surg, psych wards, having no idea what i was doing,

patients i fell in love with and will never ever forget.

love. heartbreak. a rollercoaster. stress.

But, it sure was one heck of a good time.


It's been real, Penn State.
PEACE OUT.