nowhere to go but up.

This is going to be how I will feel on May 15th. Floating off into the infinite abyss, unsure of what's going to be there, feeling like I'm ready for anything (probably not even close to it but oh well) with my head held high.
I graduate in a month.
Last Thursday, I got hired on the spot. It's temporary, 8 weeks, an internship just the same as last year in New York City (except instead of hip replacements, it'll be happy moms and their babies), but I'm hoping it'll lead me into something more permanent. On May 15th, I'll finally be able to call myself a nurse. I'll have a profession. Wowzas.
It's down to the wire, and I'm stressed. I put off things until the very end. But I'm here. I'm doing it, barely keeping sane but I'm doing it.
New York, here I come again.

Birthday Girl.

I'm officially 22.
Past the age of legality, hitting birthdays that really are insignificant to nothing other than me getting older. And wiser? Hopefully.
Well, I am graduating in a month and 10 days.
I remember my birthday party when I turned 5 years old. My, have things changed.
I guess I'm a woman now.
I'm [trying to get] big big girl jobs now. I'm trying to figure out where I want to live.
I'm growing up.
But I guess I have been doing that since the day I was born.
And I guess I'll be doing that for the rest of my life.



Lisa Loeb - "Stay"

Don't let your dreams be dreams...

So. Dreams are ways of recycling your thoughts. Things that have happened throughout your day, things you have thought about, things people remind you of.
You can't help your dreams, really. Right?
How can dreams feel so real sometimes?
They can make you laugh, cry, or wake up with an aching feeling for something that's not really real at all.

I wish I could control them sometimes.
I wish I could keep my mouth shut sometimes. Oh well.

Oh, I'm never speaking up again...
Starting now.

Tiny Update.

As a lot of people may know, Amy has been busy lately.
See post below....Know that Kevin W. Elliott is my best friend in the whole wide world. I can tell him everything (things 100% of people would NEVER want to know) and he thinks it's beautiful.
I took a 6 day hiatus off of school because I wanted to spend time with him. I gained an extra family, and albeit tragic circumstances, enjoyed time with people whom I now love and respect very much. I learned that the Marine Corps. is a respectable group and can be a second family to those who lose their loved ones. I think all of us had a lot of fun reminiscing and celebrating the life of Tommy. I learned that it's okay. It's okay to celebrate in the face of loss. It's okay to make new friends and to have a great yet very sad weekend in honor of a loved one.

I also lost my dog Buster. He was 18 years old. I picked him out when I was 4. I watched him go...I watched him being injected with some pink stuff that took away his suffering and pain. I held his head and pet him while he was dying. I really will miss him. He's been in my life for so long; Longer than my brother has (not to say my brother doesn't hold the utmost importance in my life, but still).

Anyway, that's a sad tiny update on me. I'm thankful for my best friends in the whole world, and I'm thankful for my family. One thing I ask is that you all pray I get through the last month of this semester. I'm really doubting myself at this point.

Love you all...... www.amymarissa.tumblr.com

may angels lead you in...

"Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think."

I'm sure it's beautiful up there, Tom. To the Elliott family, especially Kevin who honestly is my best friend, I love you guys and will always be "just up the hill" for you.

Want more updates on me? I'm sure maybe the one reader I have does. go to www.amymarissa.tumblr.com

lovesongs.

You know you have a "too nice" problem when a love song comes on, and you think about someone else's situation. I want to text them to tell them they're not alone, and John Mayer feels the same way, but I can't because that would be a little too weird.
Maybe it's actually a problem called "Amy doesn't have a life, or love life".

Other times, I cry for people. If I know they're numb and can't cry for themselves, I cry for them. I don't tell them though, because that would also be weird.

your heart is an empty room.

I used to realllly love Death Cab for Cutie. I just recently found this song. It's gorgeous.